“We like to make a distinction between our private and public lives and say, “Whatever I do in my private life is nobody else’s business.” But anyone trying to live a spiritual life will soon discover that the most personal is the most universal, the most hidden is the most public, and the most solitary is the most communal. What we live in the most intimate places of our beings is not just for us but for all people. That is why our inner lives are lives for others. That is why our solitude is a gift to our community, and that is why our most secret thoughts affect our common life.
Jesus says, “No one lights a lamp to put it under a tub; they put it on the lamp-stand where it shines for everyone in the house” (Matthew 5:14-15). The most inner light is a light for the world. Let’s not have “double lives”; let us allow what we live in private to be known in public.” – Henri Nouwen
I believe this to be true.
The privilege of speaking on Sunday morning and revealing the truth about my past continues to resonate with me. Truth-telling is healing.
This process has been long; it began years ago and culminated in many ways with Sunday’s talk. But it continues still. Countless people have contacted me via email and Facebook to raise their hand, to say, “Me too!”, to get something off of their chest, to tell me about further conversation that happened in their family.
If you are one of those people, how I wish you knew how much company you had!
I continue to need to read words like Nouwen’s above, and to be reminded that every day must be lived with intentionality. Walking in the light is a choice.
HT to Cynthia, my blogging friend, who wrote about her weekend here.
It’s the second week of our WIRED series (if you don’t yet have a devotional book, pick one up at the office this week or at the resource table at church).
Our community sadly is mourning the loss of Charlie Green, a fine man and passionate community servant. Because his funeral would be at the high school this afternoon (also our Sunday morning home), we made a few changes to our plans and shortened the second service considerably in order to accommodate the set up needs for the funeral.
We did not bring in the incredible set that our design team put together last week; just kept things bare today, with a minimal band. We also made a last minute change to the closing song to better connect the end of the message. I have to give major props to the band, who didn’t blink when I brought them a new chart this morning. It’s an amazing gift to work with such talented people who also have their hearts in the right place.
Here’s what we did today:
Preservice: Rain Down – David Crowder This was extra special because Elijah Schiarelli emailed us a loop he created to open the song. He’s away at college, but he was with us in spirit today. Great song, great loop, great way to walk in.
Lift Him Up – Martha Munizzi Love, love, LOVE this song. Inspired by seeing Bruce Hornsby live at The National, I had a blast playing for Sandy. I think we managed to rock this song to bits. One of my ALL-TIME favorite worship pieces.
scriptureAs I underscored on the grand, Angie read an excerpt from Isaiah 53, originally planned to support that passage later in the message. It ended up getting cut from the message, but it was a beautiful segue into the next tune.
Jesus Messiah – Chris Tomlin This tune seems to be a winner across the board – singable, Biblical, true. Powerful.
How He Loves – Jon Mark McMillan If you made it to the 9:30 service, you got to hear Matt Turner lead this tune (we lean into the David Crowder version). It was awesome. We had to cut it from the second service due to time – but it will reappear in the very near future.
Thirsty During the offering time, we showed this short video during first service (due to time constraints, we pulled the vid for second service. If you were at PCC today for the 11:00 service and missed it, you can check it out here).
Worth It All – Rita Springer A great song to close the message and emphasize the point: it is worth it all, no matter what, in light of Jesus.
There are days when I really, really love my church – the experience, the teamwork, the unity, the worship we offer. today was one. Don’t get me wrong – I am always grateful for the faith community that is Powhatan Community Church. But today was unique, from the musical team to the set up and tear down crew that worked so hard, with such great attitudes.
It was, indeed, a very good day.
This post is part of the Sunday Setlist Carnival hosted by Fred McKinnon. Hop on over to Fred’s blog to find out what other churches did today…
Today’s service – on porn – was particularly meaningful to me.
I was exposed to porn as a child. It had a profound affect on me. It really messed with my self-image. To this day, I’m impacted by the thought that I’m supposed to look/act/be like those earliest images. It’s been a real struggle at times.
I can safely say that I’m through the worst of that, but it’s been a challenge to my confidence and view of myself as a beloved daughter of God. I’m not going into the details here, but I would like to say this:
Porn is bad. Don’t do it.
Seriously, I think the impact on the person who is using is devastating – but the greater risk is to those around you who might be exposed. I’m speaking, specifically, about the kids around you who might stumble upon your books or magazines or web pages or dvds or cable channels. And don’t kid yourself. It’ll happen.
This is a hot button issue for me, so I’m going to get on my soap box. I’m not often dogmatic about right and wrong, but on this issue, it’s black and white as far as I’m concerned. Let me share just a bit about what I know porn can do to a young person.
Porn creates a secret. Dysfunction begins with secrets. Secrets bind anxiety. One of the greatest ways to screw up a family – whether it’s you, a single dad with kids; or you, a single mom with kids; or you, big brother or sister; or you, grandpa; or you, a cool aunt; or you, with your roommates: no matter who you are, when you invite porn into your life, you crack the door open to influence all the people who are part of your life. It’s a huge risk.
Porn violates innocence. For my part, I learned how to define myself, my body image, my idea of beauty through porn. I’ve fought that battle all my life. Others are going through the same struggles. Are you willing to wreck the natural development of a kid just to feed your lust?
Porn warps natural sexual devlopment. Early discoveries of sexual images define and shape one’s understanding of their sexuality. This post is not an appropriate place for that sort of detailed discussion, but use some common sense. Here’s an easy example: How many girls see a Victoria’s Secret ad – on tv or in print – and don’t walk away thinking that’s the definition of a desireable, sexy woman? And how many boys see that and expect that to be how a woman should look and act? Take that road a bit further and think about what expectations boys and girls have regarding their intimate lives after being influenced by porn.
Porn is bad. Don’t do it.
I never forgot what I’d seen and read. It stayed with me into my adult life. After I got serious about my relationship with God, I was actively involved in a church and committed to following Christ – but I grew to believe that there was a huge blackness in me where this sin lived. I felt, literally, as though the inner part of my heart was black. I was “okay” in every other way, but I had this filthy thing burned into me that was my cross to bear, my sin, my thorn, a part of me that would never be gone. I felt different than everybody else. I felt as though I could never say anything to anybody. I never told anyone. The secret of porn had burned into my soul.
Through an amazing turn of events, God opened some doors for me to come clean and to live in freedom. There is no blackness in me, no condemnation, no darkness. There is only grace. Those images are gone. The slate’s been wiped clean. But it took some intentional steps and a willingness – even a desperation – to be free.
If you want to hear the details of how God led me through this mess, let me know.
If you have any issue at all with pornography, do something about it.
And if you need somebody to talk to, you can find me at beth {at} powhatancc {dot} com.
And yes, just for the record – I DO think Victoria’s Secret ads qualify as porn.
